An Itchy Bum: Bella's Tail Of Woe

“Tail” of woe. Haha. I made a funny.

Not so much?

OK, onward…

So a few days after our trial in San Martin, I noticed Bella was licking her tail. There was what appeared to be a bug bite. Mosquito-ish in nature. OK, whatever, leave it alone dog.

Week later, I get out of the shower and notice clumps of hair on my bed.

WTF?

Bella chewing on tail. Damn. Didn’t I say leave it alone? OK, get the skin powder stuff out. Seems to be getting better.

Another week, was furminating (<-- that will be in Websters before you know it!) Bella outside and noticed a weird depression in her heiny feathers. Bald spot!

Bigger WTF?!

Now, I never see her itch. She’s all sneaky and shit about it. Of course we are on our way to another MF’ing trial. Decide to bathe her at hotel with the magic shampoo.

If you ever wondered what “learned helplessness” looks like….here it is

I totally screwed with her notion that hotel rooms were bath-free zones.



I tried to smooth it over with the whole, “well at least you can be on the bed when you’re wet. That’s cool, right?”

Again, not so much


I hate to be the one to kick a girl when she’s down, but, damn, this pic cracks me up. For those that argue with me about whether or not she’s a mix, can you see her cattle dog front end now?!


HAHA! That tiny little heiny! If The Incredibles ever need a dog I have one for them. She’d probably love a cape.

So, off to the vet on Monday. I asked them to do a scrape to make damn sure we had no passengers. Nothing. Bug bite that went wrong because she was messing with it? (Hate to say I told you so, Bella). Did she get something on her that irritated her skin? Who knows.

The vet did harp on the flea thing.

Me: She doesn’t have fleas.

Vet: Well sometimes we don’t notice….

Me, interrupting: No, no. I don’t know about “we,” but I notice everything. I know every square inch of that dog. I am constantly going over her looking for lumps and bumps and cuts and scrapes. I go over both of them with a flea comb at least 3 times a week. I’m quite sure that most of your clients love their dogs and treat them well. I’m also quite sure I’m your only client who has a flea comb on her nightstand. Yes. That’s where it lives. Nail clippers, emery board, flea comb.

Three beings in my bed. No more. Like, ever. I gua-ran-tee. I’m a little OCD about the flea and tick thing if you haven't picked up on that yet. Trust me, it ain’t that.

It’s funny ‘cause it’s true!


So, 20 minutes later, some fancy new spray. And we’re off.

I am now referring to it as the G-d damned, 170 dollar bald spot.

*sigh*

Dogs.

Am I right?