Wednesday, March 6, 2013


Let’s face it, I am a CPE person. We are a little less European and a little more Midwestern, don’tcha know.

Our “International” is generally followed by “House of Pancakes.”

Unless, I suppose, you count the occasional nacho bar at a trial as international? I think it is a rule that when you put jalapenos on something it becomes international even if that thing you are putting it on is Velveeta? I don’t think they are big on canned cheese in Europe but I do feel confident that the Costco 5 gallon can of chili contains no horse meat. That’s European. You USDAA people eat horse meat at your trials? Maybe it would help with all your unpronounceable handling maneuvers? I had a raw pork sandwich in Germany once. I can do that because I am gastrically a badass. I don’t think it helped with agility, though.

I got your backside right here! 600_1475

Also, you should probably stop taking your vitamin D and calcium. You watch those videos of the international people running the international dogs on the international courses? You probably Facebook your agility friends about them. Discuss the moves. The speed. The turning every which way. Me? I just yell at youtube….

Stand up!

Good god what is with the hunchy Europeans? I didn’t know osteoporosis was so rampant in the old country. Probably Obama’s fault.

Practicing ketschker handling. Not comfortable facing her dog

Can’t we just go eat something?

If you haven’t noticed, I don’t really care about training handling moves that I can’t spell or pronounce. Bella and I are certainly in the twilight of our agility teams’ career. We just go an occasionally screw around now. Maybe if I get another agility dog at some point I’ll go back to caring about training. I actually wasn’t going to participate in this Dog Agility Blog Event Day at all. I mean, at this point, even calling Bella an agility dog is about the same as calling Velveeta cheese. I figured, however, that I would use this opportunity to ask the international agility community a favor. More specifically the European agility community. See, Americans think just about everything you do is The Shit. Well, maybe not WW2 or the whole David Hasselhoff thing, possibly Bjork, but everything else, yes. Pastries, hair removal, agility moves. It’s all you.

It would be totally awesome sausage if you would start a new trend of only using 4 weave poles. I don’t want to push it, but entry side being optional would be pretty cool, too. We would call them “European poles.” We could even narrow that down to the country that started the great new trend.

“If our club got those crazy new Austrian poles we could have 12 second standard runs, too!”


One thing we have mastered, though? That thing even the CPE people do?

Jump wrapping

Look at how close she is to it! 600_1509

Wrapping jumps almost better than eating stale tortillas 600_1506


  1. I laughed...alot. Well done! I'm glad you decided to write on it!!! Go CPE!! Wahoo! :D

  2. While I *LOVE* international style agility, I found this comical indeed. If only I could see it... Look here:

  3. I have to admit that, like so many others here, I giggled my way through much of this post. We're also CPE people and I feel much the same way about all the "international" challenges. Just leave 'em out of my stuff!

  4. What a great post, love your sense of humor!

  5. This was hilarious! I've always enjoyed reading your blog, but this has been my favorite post EVER!

  6. freaking funny. lol.

    the wrapping on that jump is nothin' but pure talent. lol

  7. I like your take on international!

  8. Still laughing. My late Borzoi would have loved 4 weavepoles.

  9. You have the cutest dog in the entire world. There. I said it. Dog crush.

    I don't know much about agility, but the Nationals are in Tulsa this weekend and I'll be there two days out of three, just to watch and take photos. I can't WAIT.

  10. Heh, yeah 4 weave poles, we just put ours away tonight and someone had peed on them!!! Why?

  11. I just lol'd on this one.. You have a great dog - jump wrapping is a sure fire!

  12. Love this totally! I'm so with you on this topic (and being somewhat midwestern even if we don't have CPE).